Wrestling with God

[David Hahn]

I'm starting this discussion that I really would like some help with from you all. I was talking with a friend recently who sent me the following thoughts about her own struggles with God. The fact is that we all have them, but rarely have space to share and reflect on them. So let's just be honest and real. I know there are many who share similar thoughts as what I've placed below and other additional struggles too. I'd love to hear your own thoughts:

1. What struggles do you have with faith, Jesus, God, church, etc.?
2. Feel free to provide feedback/comment on people's struggles.

"I struggle with God because I feel like in believing in the Christian God I betray a large portion of myself, as a woman and as a compassionate human being...while I do agree that people are largely responsible for the horrible things that Christianity is blamed for, it is hard for me to separate the Christian God with a more abstract concept of God. God is white, God is male, and this Christian structure is the basis for a very flawed (I think) system of living that is very universal today. Again, I know that men created this God, men made him these things, a very small select group of men. But how do redefine God for myself when "it" is so tied to a Christianity that I am not proud of nor do I want to be a part of? And again I know that I can't generalize all Christians or all aspects of Christianity, and I try and try to understand that. It's just very difficult. Alright there it is."

[Thomas]

"Insight for Today" has been doing a series of daily devotions on Job. Eliphaz tells Job, “Acquaint now thyself with God and be at peace: thereby good shall come to thee.” I think I share the same struggles - struggles with others, struggles with myself, and finally, struggles to acquaint myself with God. I also think this is part of our whole human condition. I often feel that God is there, but it is up to me to let him into my life. How do I to that? How do I even see Him? What is this concept that will bring me peace? I think you are on the right track understanding that this may not be the same God we create in our churches and Bible studies. However, it is so much easier for us to understand a god in those human terms. How do we get beyond that understanding and become acquainted with the true God of peace?

[Existentialist]

The "good news" is that we don't have to believe in any god. And, if we choose, as I do, we can believe in them all - and, none at all simultaneously. Religions are, as Joseph Campbell pointed out so well, products of our deepest selves to make sense of our experiences, our lives, within the context of those lives and times. Just as the confederate flag is hoisted by KKK members, the cross is highjacked by crusaders. I find it hard to hold Jesus above Mohammed or Buddha or Gandhi, in part because of the the contexts in which jesus and christianity have been used to judge, to discriminate, to condemn, to justify, and to wage war.

Making sense of The Absurd (a la Albert Camus) is a struggle. How could it be anything else?

[Ethan Hulme]

I think a huge struggle I have with the church, and then in turn God, is relevance and respect. It is hard to even believe in genuine faith when it feels like we make such little room for God in our lives and culture. Instead people use God or the idea of God as a weapon often to show what "they" are doing wrong. "Those" in turn doing the wrong are none to impressed by "those" supposedly doing the right. I often find the Christian world hostile and dangerous, a place that you need to tip toe around so that you don't get lambasted by a saintly missile. I struggle with the fact that we rarely treat each other as beings made in the image of God.

[Existentialist]

Here, here, Ethan. (Or is that, "Hear, hear, Ethan"?) And it is bigger than christians, for what respectable world religion DOESN'T advocate love thy neighbor? Where do all those saintly missiles come from? Why all the wars, burnings, wall-buildings, and sheer greed?

I liked the system better before we invented free will. ;-)

[JoAnn Gronskei]

I don't have a problem with the Christian God ... but it seems that instead of the physical portrayal that we are all aware of ... I have come to believe in an all-encompassing God ... The wind, spirit, love, force that is beyond all that I can imagine. Do I have struggles with my faith, the "church" ... absolutely. But God continues to show me over and over again that with faith I learn to live with life struggles, disappointments, and people not living up to "my expectations". There are times that I don't want to attend church because of the wrongs that have been done there. But for me, by doing so, I am hurting myself and my faith by withholding myself from a community of believers, who just like me ... are broken. And I need the community of believers, knowing that we are all broken sometimes even when we don't know it.

[Erin Wilkinson]

Do you think God is a Christian? Do you think that he adheres to the labels we have established for Christianity? I'm not sure that I am wrestling so much with God as much as the box "we" as Christians have put him in. I don't believe in a God who colors in the lines. Faith is messy. Jesus did not come to establish an institution but a relationship, he showed us how to live in relation to our God, as well as one another. He came to show us the Way to live. It is hard to spend time with God in a world that is constantly vying for our attention and calling for distraction over reverence and worship. How can I get rid of the mental garbage long enough to spend time with God --to remember how to breathe or allow Him to breathe through me? I don't feel like I am wrestling with God but I don't feel like I am wrestling the world to spend time with God. To seek and connect with him in the midst of chaos and distraction.

[Erin Wilkinson]

**but I AM wrestling with the world in order to spend time with God.